By Tom Disch
Mild verse and kooky illustrations make grammar their playground
Read Online or Download A child's garden of grammar PDF
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Additional resources for A child's garden of grammar
You're cold, I'm hot; I seek, you're sought; You're what I lack, I'm what you've got. You're everything that I am not. Page 50 Homophones Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Homonyms Letter for letter, we're just the same- And yet we're not the same at all, For one might be mailed to addressee's name While the other is nailed to a wall. Page 54 Page 55 Like and As As I was saying the other day, Like is like As in a certain way, And, likewise, necessarily, I think it is quite plain to see That As has a likeness to Like, Much as Pat resembles Mike, Although grammatically they are Entirely dissimilar, For Like links things like love and roses, While the use of As supposes Two processes have been compared, Like gardening and having cared For someone in a nursing home By reading her some lovely poem While she nods her head and sews.
I thought of her, and it was just the same But when I thought of you and me, my love, The two of us together, I forgot Every other pronoun I'd been taught, Page 42 Strange Plurals Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Odious Comparisons I have been good, but you've been better; The proof is on your letter sweater. I'm happy to have been your guest, But still I wonder: who is best? You can be bad, but I am worse: I drink, I smoke, I fight, I curse. But look at him, whom you loved first, Who's now so rich, and quite the worst.
In has money, and spends and spends Till envious Out would like to drown Or seal in a kiln to drown Or skewer on a javelin That preppiest of prepositions, In. Page 30 Fathers, Generally, Like Clowns, are Lower-Cased to Indicate their lesser and Improper State. Page 31 Proper Nouns Some nouns are proper, others plain. For instance, Massachusetts, Spain, Consolidated Edison, The Gap, Our fathers when we call them Pap, President Lincoln, Senator Dodd, The Pointer Sisters, Spot, and God Are classified as proper nouns, While fathers generally, like clowns, Are lower-cased to indicate Their lesser and improper state.