By Bella Visono Dodd
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We felt that she thou ht as a colle ti ' t f t nd ive as an and in our twisted estimate of a uman life we elt t at this was her failure. We did not recognize that life had become unbearable to her because of the disorder of her thinki which ' vi 1 1 d t~ P f_rl ctr tion . "Tareful not to continue on the path which led to her suicide I was to take a longer, more deceptive yet parallel 51 road to annihilation . I refused to retrace my steps to the point of departure into wrong thinking . I did not know then that this could bring only disharmony, confusion, and defeat.
Often I went to her home where her mQther, a wise, fine woman with an Old Testament air about her, fed us with her good cooking and gave us sound advice . On the Jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana and the Passover Mrs . Goldstein invited me to meals and the family services . The age-old ceremonies impressed me ; it was inspiring to see how this family remained true to the history of its people, how in this new land they strengthened their sense of oneness with the past by prayer . As I watched the candles glow and heard the Hebrew prayers I was conscious of the fact that my family was not so bound together, and now did not seem to belong anywhere .
But in this period at Hunter the classroom was the teacher's castle and no one would dare intrude. Miss Parks's social theories were to me both disturbing and exciting. During my first year at Hunter I joined the Newman Club, only to lose interest in it very quickly, for aside from its social aspect all its other activities seemed purely formal . There was little serious discussion of the tenets of the Faith and almost no emphasis on Catholic participation in the affairs of the world . In my young arrogance I regarded its atmosphere as anti-intellectual .